- Before I had kids, I firmly believed that parents shouldn't take kids to a bar.
- But I realized getting a babysitter is expensive and doesn't make sense for a short amount of time.
- Also, adults can be just as disruptive as kids.
If it's Friday night and my husband and I are in town, chances are we're at our favorite neighborhood bar enjoying what I would consider to be the best frozen margarita in town. And chances are we've got our young children — who are 3 and 1 — with us.
There's a long standing debate about whether people should take their kids to a bar or if they should leave them at home. On one hand, the argument is that kids can be disruptive and can sour someone else's experience. On the other hand, the argument is that parents deserve a break, too, and it should be their choice about whether they bring a kid to the bar or not.
Pre-kids, I believed kids should stay home
I used to be in the camp that kids should stay home and that bars should just be for adults. I'll admit that pre-kids there were times I'd even shoot an evil glance at a parent or a kid in a bar, or roll my eyes when I'd have to sit next to a table that had kids. I thought parents who took kids to bars were irresponsible.
My perspective changed after I had kids of my own, and now I'm firmly of the opinion that parents should feel free like they can take their kids to a bar and not be worried about how they'll be perceived. I lacked empathy for the challenges parents face everyday and understanding that parents aren't trying to ruin someone's experience by taking their kids to a bar. They're just trying to get a break.
When I just want to be out for a little bit, a babysitter doesn't make sense
Babysitters are expensive. In our area the rates for two kids range from $18-$25 an hour. If my husband and I just want to grab a couple of drinks, getting a babysitter would likely double the cost of the outing, which really deflates the happiness from happy hour.
I also don't want to have to go through the effort of finding a babysitter just to leave the house for an hour or so. That doesn't feel like a productive use of my time, as it typically takes calling around to a few people to find someone who is available. If I'm going to add that work to my plate, I'd like it to be for a longer outing. It also doesn't feel fair to the babysitter to only be somewhere for a short amount of time.
I try to pick spots where my kids will disrupt patrons the least
Even though I support parents taking kids to bars, I do think that parents should consider which spots will be better for kids. Right now my kids aren't great at sitting still so I know they need some space to move around. I also know that my kids sometimes cry or get loud. Because of that, I'm not taking them to intimate cocktail bars.
I gravitate to outdoor locations or large indoor breweries where sound is more likely to disperse. These spots usually lend themselves to people moving around more which means I don't feel bad when my kids move around, too.
I get frustrated when people are quick to blame kids for being disruptive at a bar. Adults can get quite rowdy, too, and having a table of obnoxiously loud adults is just as bothersome as a little kid having a tantrum. I would argue that typically the tantrum is shorter lived, as well.
Taking our kids to happy hour is a way for us to get a change of scenery and be social without having the struggle of finding a babysitter. Parents need a break, too, and it isn't always feasible to go out without kids.